Free Mixing in Islam

What is permissible and what is not?

How to avoid free mixing?

• Men and women are permitted to be in the same place. (i.e. shops, streets etc)
• Men and women should avoid situations where they are crowded together or seated together.
• Repetitive acquaintance should be avoided to prevent familiarity.
• Business like discussion between man and woman is permissible when necessary.

Why is it like this?

• Prevention of intimate relationships developing outside of marriage.
• Prevention of gossip and slander that can destroy relationships and families.
• Prevention of one party "falling in love" and being hurt.
• Prevention of children being born outside of marriage.
• Prevention of families being broken up.

The Evidence

Allah says: "Nor come nigh to adultery". [Quran 17:32]

Allah says: "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them." and says: "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty." [Noble Quran 24:30-31]

Allah says: "And when you ask the ladies for anything, ask them from behind a screen. That makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs." [Noble Quran 33:53]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) forbade men and women from being alone together. He said: "Never is a man alone with a woman except that Satan is the third party with them." [Narrated by at-Tirmidhi #3118]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: "Do not enter into the company of women." A man then asked him: "What about her male in-laws?" The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: "The in-law (al-hamwu) is death (the most dangerous)". [Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: "It is better for one of you to be pierced by a steel pin in his head than to touch the hand of a strange woman." [Narrated by al-Thabrani in Mu'jam al-Kabir 20:211. Classed as Saheeh by al-Albaani]

Allah says: "Be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire: but speak with a speech (that is) proper." [Noble Quran 33:32].

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Any woman who puts on perfume then goes and passes by some men to let them find her scent is a type of adulteress." [Narrated by Ahmad in his Musnad & Tirmidhi]

Ummu Salamah said: "When the Prophet (peace be upon him) completed the prayer, the women would get up to leave. He would then wait awhile before standing." Ibn Shahab said: "I believe that he waited for a while to give the women an opportunity to depart before the men." [Narrated by Bukhari]

It was related in al-Bukhari, Book of Hajj that women at the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) did not circumambulate the Ka'bah along with the men. Aisyah used to go around the Ka'bah at a good distance from the men and avoided mixing with them. Once another woman bade to her to go forward with her so they could touch the corner of the Ka'bah. Aisyah refused to do so and say, "You the only one who go". [Narrated by Bukhari]

One of Aisyah's handmaidens came to her and said: "O Mother of believers, I went around the Ka'bah seven times and touched the corner twice or trice". Aisyah replied: "May Allah not reward you for pushing your way through men. It would have been sufficient for you to you to say "Allah Akbar" as you passed by". [Narrated by asy-Syafie in his Musnad]

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Pergaulan Bebas Menurut Islam

Apakah yang dibenarkan dan apakah yang dilarang?

Bagaimana untuk mengelakkan pergaulan bebas?

• Dibenarkan bagi lelaki dan wanita untuk berada ditempat yang sama secara umum (cth: kedai, jalanraya, dan sebagainya)
• Lelaki dan wanita harus mengelakkan situasi dimana mereka berasak bersama-sama (dalam keadaan sesak) atau duduk bersama
• Elakkan perkenalan (antara lelaki dan wanita) secara berulang kali bagi mengelakkan kebiasaan bersama
• Perbincangan antara lelaki dan wanita dibenarkan apabila perlu (cth: urusan perniagaan, pembelajaran, dsb)

Mengapa harus mengelak pergaulan bebas?

• Pencegahan berlakunya hubungan intim sebelum pernikahan
• Mencegah gosip dan fitnah yang boleh merosakkan perhubungan dan kekeluargaan
• Mengelakkan satu pihak "bertepuk sebelah tangan" lalu hati disakiti
• Mengelakkan berlakunya gejala anak luar nikah
• Mengelakkan keretakan hubungan sesama keluarga (kerana zina, dsb)

Dalilnya

Firman Allah, "Dan janganlah kamu menghampiri zina". [Quran 17:32]

Firman Allah, "Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad) kepada orang-orang lelaki yang beriman supaya mereka menyekat pandangan mereka (daripada memandang yang haram), dan memelihara kehormatan mereka." [Quran 24:30]

Firman Allah, "Dan apabila kamu meminta sesuatu yang harus diminta dari isteri-isteri Nabi maka mintalah kepada mereka dari sebalik tabir. Cara yang demikian lebih suci bagi hati kamu dan hati mereka." [Quran 33:53]

Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Janganlah kalian sekali-kali memasuki tempat wanita". Maka bertanya seorang Ansar, 'Bagaimana pula dia adalah ipar?' Lalu Baginda SAW menjawab, "al-hamwu (ipar) adalah maut (berbahaya)". [Hadith Riwayat Tirmidzi]

Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Ditusuknya kepala salah seorang itu dengan besi, adalah lebih baik baginya daripada menyentuh wanita yang bukan mahramnya". [Hadith Riwayat al-Thabrani dalam Mu'jam al-Kabir 20:211. Dinilai Sahih oleh al-Albaani] 

Firman Allah, "Janganlah kamu berkata-kata dengan suara yang lembut manja (semasa bercakap dengan lelaki asing) kerana demikian akan menimbulkan keinginan orang yang berpenyakit didalam hatinya (menaruh tujuan buruk kepada kamu), dan sebaliknya berkatalah dengan kata-kata yang baik (yang sesuai dan sopan)". [Quran 33:32]

Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Mana-mana wanita yang memakai wangi-wangian kemudian keluar rumah dan melepasi satu kaum (golongan lelaki) lalu kemudian mereka menghidu bau wanginya, maka dia (wanita itu) adalah penzina". [Hadith Riwayat Ahmad di dalam Musnadnya & Tirmidzi]

Ummu Salamah berkata, "Apabila Baginda Rasulullah SAW selesai bersembahyang (di masjid), maka para wanita akan bangun terlebih dahulu kemudian beredar. Baginda kebiasaannya menunggu sebentar sebelum berdiri". Ibnu Shahab berkata, "Baginda menunggu sementara untuk memberikan laluan untuk para wanita keluar dahulu sebelum diikuti para lelaki". [Riwayat Bukhari]

Imam Bukhari menukilkan satu cerita di dalam Kitab Haji dalam Sahih Bukhari dimana para wanita ketika dizaman Rasulullah tidak bercampur baur dengan golongan lelaki ketika melakukan tawaf disekeliling Ka'bah. Bahkan Aisyah sendiri menjauhi golongan lelaki dan ketika bertawaf bagi mengelakkan berselisih dengan mereka. Lalu ada seorang wanita mengajaknya kehadapan untuk mencium Hajarul Aswad, lalu ditolak oleh beliau dan menjawab, "Engkau sahajalah yang pergi". [Sahih Bukhari]

Salah seorang daripada hamba Aisyah datang kepadanya dan berkata, "Wahai Ummul Mukminin, saya telah pergi disekeliling Ka'bah (ketika tawaf) sebanyak tujuh kali dan menyentuh penjuru Ka'bah sebanyak dua atau tiga kali". Lalu Aisyah menjawab, "Semoga Allah tidak mengganjari kamu kerana mengasak laluanmu melalui golongan lelaki. Adalah sudah mencukupi bagimu untuk mengucapkan 'Allahu Akbar' ketika kamu melepasi (penjuru Ka'bah)". [Diriwayatkan oleh asy-Syafie didalam Musnadnya]

 
 

 

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